The Jump - Molly Carney

Stepping up to the edge, I look down.
The slick brown rock underneath my feet,
Toenails painted bright blue.
A descent into the unknown
Lies before me, daring me
To take its plummeting path. I jump.

My brain has yet to register the jump,
Confused as to why I am tumbling down,
Why it has become just the air and me,
Why the ground has left my feet.
I’m surrounded by blurs that remain unknown,
The ocean beneath me, a deep blue.

I gasp for air, my heart turning blue
As my brain kicks in and I regret the jump
That I now wish could have stayed unknown.
I want to go back up, not down,
Where there was something beneath my feet,
Where I wasn’t completely alone, wasn’t just me.

I wonder if anyone’s thinking of me
As I get closer and closer to that blue,
Tumbling feet over head, head over feet.
I wonder if they’re thinking of my jump
And how bold it was, my doubt stared down.
I wonder, but my questions remain unknown.

My fall feels like forever, unknown
How much time has whizzed past me.
My heart speeds up as I plunge down,
Although not in a bad way. There’s no more blue
In my body. Regret about this jump
Fades away. I like the way my feet

Cut through the air as I fall countless feet
Towards the ocean, the exact distance unknown.
I like the somersaults, that haven’t stopped since the jump.
I like that no one is there to stop me,
Or catch me, or save me from that big blue.
Sometimes we need to fall down.

My feet hit first as the water engulfs me,
The unknown becoming a world of blue.
The jump taught me how to fall down.