Ten down, Twelve to go - Andrew Shifren

Oh boy, my first choice university!

This tour will be affirmation for me

The tour guides represent the students here

This one is a championship skier

That one has found a cure for Alzheimer’s

And is one of the debate team founders

I think I’ve heard this blue light speech before

At every school I’ve visited, but sure

Tell me about your great security,

And the school’s stunning diversity

Did News and World Reports vote you the best?

Well then you must be far above the rest

Am I being jaded and cynical?

It is because this feels so cyclical

This tour, my tenth, has become a great bore

I’m trapped in the maze of the Minotaur

But no Ariadne to bring me string

On myriad tours to false hope I cling

Wishing the next visit opens my eyes

But perhaps this school I should not despise

This college could be the optimal fit

These happy students are enjoying it

Happy students on Sunday of all days

‘Morrow is Monday, but they are not fazed

They must be so excited for classes

That they can’t wait ‘til the weekend passes

Or maybe they’re eager for a reason crude

“You ready for Messed Up Monday my dude!?”

Yes, promise of inebriation has

Excited the students since Creation

At least I can cross this school off my list

And by me it will not be sorely missed

I can’t attend where Mondays are profaned

Or Wes Williams’ eternal shame I will have gained